With my teacher doing annotations on my writing, I have found that I need to completely get rid of a point in my descriptive piece. In a sense, I was able to get a better focus on my thesis as well. With all of my essays done, I am able to breath easy and know that everything as far as college English goes is done. In the end, I have been able to better my writing and done so well in learning my structuring and my planning as far as my essays go. I feel that I have done well on all of my essays and done everything the best I can. In the end, English has shown me that I have a lot of writing plans and do all of the types of writing I can think of.
According to peer review, the only real issue I had in this paper was concluding and tying my points back to my thesis of why there are so many translations of The Bible. What I did was change the argument from a causal chain structure to a multi cause structure. In the end, the paper is able to flow a lot better than before because I don't have to worry about a sequential structure. Instead, the paper is in more of a problem solution kind of structure. This allows me to tie back to thesis a lot better and lets my paper flow a lot better too.
According to my peer review, this essay appears to have the issue of being to wordy. This paper needs to be fixed in terms of awkward wording and I need to be more clear in my thesis. As long as I can fix the awkward wording, I will be able to fix a lot of the issues my peer review had on it. After that, there are some issues with me relating to my thesis in all of my points and in the mean time transitioning between them fluently.
The biggest thing that I learned from English 101 is the fact that you need to know your structure before you write. If you just start free writing with no structure, people have no idea what your goal is when they read your piece. This in the end is the most important thing since it keeps the goal of your paper clear and makes your point look all the more supported. I need to plan more when I write so that I have my structure and my goal in mind. Whether it is cause and effect or problem and solution, the structure always no matter what is, from what I have learned, the most important element to have when writing.
The entire argumentative essay is done. I had to do a lot of research and work to make sure that all of my sources were credible and I had to completely re do the paper, but I did edit the whole thing. The multi cause thesis ended up working out pretty well for my topic which stayed the same as before. What I learned from this essay is the importance of having a counterclaim. This element is important when it comes to argument because of the fact that it shows your point and disproves someones point against you. It is one of the most useful tools in proving a point and shows how truly effective your argument is.
As far as this essay goes, I need to get a lot of things done to it. I need to develop a counterclaim and I need to come up with a three point thesis. Along with this, I have to put it in MLA format and find two more main points for the paper. I am going to do a multi cause paper instead of a causal chain paper because I feel my research will fit better in the argument that way. The first draft of this essay is essentially only the idea that I have for this paper. In the end, the whole thing is going to have to be rewritten with more points and more research.
In order to fix this essay, I did all of the research I needed to do with my sources and did everything that I could to fix the awkward wording and to tie everything back. I found that all of my sources were credible and that I could use them in the paper. After also fixing the transitions, I finished editing. In the end, the main thing that I learned from this essay is that flow is one of the most important elements to have in a paper. The information may all be credible, but it means nothing if your audience cannot follow what you are saying.
The main thing I need to work on in this piece is looking up the authors of the sources that I found that give information of both Thoreau and his book Walden. In ding so I will insure credibility of the paper and its ideas. There is also some awkward wording that I need to fix in my thesis and I need to make sure that I relate all of my points back to the thesis. I also need to create flow in the piece and have a general structure for it.
In order to edit this essay, I got more information on the authors of my sources and their backgrounds. I tied their information to my thesis to support it and say how their statements relate to my injustice. As well as this, I edited awkward wording and made sure all of my points tied back to my thesis. In the end, the biggest thing I learned from this essay is that using the authors that you used for your evidence can be just as supportive as when you use the evidence itself.
The peer review of this essay told me that I have awkward structure in places all over the paper. It also points out that I need to attach the authors of my sources to my thesis. I need to state how they relate to my thesis. I also need to clarify what time period my authors come from and state their biographical information. In the end, the biggest issue here is to get more information on my sources and really edit out my thesis.
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Jacob RileyCalculating the chances of success in an English Class Archives
May 2015
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